Erma Bombeck
» Alcohol and Alcoholism » “Never accept a drink from a Urologist.”
» Children » “It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.”
» Children » “Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
» Comedy and Comedians » “Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide.”
» Control » “I am not a glutton — I am an explorer of food.”
» Courage » “It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
» Doctors » “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
» Exercise » “The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heaving breathing again.”
» Family » “You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren’t dying. They’re merging into big conglomerates.”
» Parents and Parenting » “I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ”Checkout Time is 18 years.””
» Success » “Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.”
» Talent » “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, ”I used everything you gave me.”.”
