Kin Hubbard
» Agreement » “The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.”
» Appearance » “Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.”
» Bargains » “Bargain… anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.”
» Beauty » “Beauty is only skin deep, but it’s a valuable asset if you’re poor or haven’t any sense.”
» Behavior » “Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.”
» Busyness » “A bee is never as busy as it seems; it’s just that it can’t buzz any slower.”
» Busyness » “Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.”
» Conservatives » “Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.”
» Death and Dying » “My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.”
» Destiny » “Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.”
» Dishonesty » “Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.”
» Drivers and Driving » “It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.”
» Elections » “The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.”
» Entertainment » “The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.”
» Food and Eating » “A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”
» Forgiveness » “Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.”
» Greatness » “After a fellow gets famous it does not take long for someone to bob up that used to sit next to him in school.”
» Guests » “Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.”
» Guests » “Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.”
» Habit » “Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.”
» Happiness » “It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.”
» Home » “The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.”
» Inaction » “You won’t skid if you stay in a rut.”
» Inheritance » “It’s going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.”
» Kindness » “Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.”
» Laziness » “A loafer always has the correct time.”
» Laziness » “Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.”
» Losers and Losing » “It’s the good loser who finally loses out.”
» Losers and Losing » “All the world loves a good loser.”
» Money » “The safest way to double your money is to fold over once and put it in your pocket.”
» Peace » “Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.”
» Peace » “Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.”
» Politicians and Politics » “I do not look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.”
» Politicians and Politics » “Politics makes strange postmasters.”
» Politicians and Politics » “If there is anything a public servant hates to do it is something for the public.”
» Politicians and Politics » “Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.”
» Poverty and The Poor » “It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.”
» Prosperity » “I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.”
» Retirement » “When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference.”
» Silence » “It ain’t a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you’re talking about.”
» Sin » “Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them.”
» Smile » “If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.”
» Speech » “Why doesn’t the fellow who says, ”I’m no speechmaker” let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?”
» Success » “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?”
» Trials » “Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.”
» Vacation » “If some people didn’t tell you, you’d never know they’d been away on a vacation.”
» Voting » “We’d all like to vote for the best man, but he’s never a candidate.”
» Weather » “Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.”
» World » “The world gels better every day — then worse again in the evening.”
» Worry » “One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.”
